I think I'm going to write an actual poem for class today.
It was an option. either that or a book review.
I'm no good at book reviews. I think a poem sounds nice.

I'm going to buy flowers for the man I like.
Then maybe he'll like me back.
Not really expecting him too though.
and the fact that I'll send them anonymously,
probably won't help my case.
they'll die eventually.

I liked working two jobs because it gave me an excuse not to see people or feel pressured to spend time with them. also, It get's me out of the house. the only negatives are that I don't have much time to sit and read. Which I like doing. I need to find another job because I've been spending all my time in my room or backyard. I'll probably go get applications today. that's sounds like a good idea. not like I have much else to do anyway.

SPRING 

by: Edna St. Vincent Millay 

To what purpose, April, do you return again?

Beauty is not enough.

You can no longer quiet me with the redness

Of little leaves opening stickily.

I know what I know.

The sun is hot on my neck as I observe

The spikes of the crocus.

The smell of the earth is good.

It is apparent that there is no death.

But what does that signify?

Not only under ground are the brains of men

Eaten by maggots.

Life in itself

Is nothing,

An empty cup, a flight of uncarpeted stairs.

It is not enough that yearly, down this hill,

April

Comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.

Though my morning was rough (you can see from earlier poem) I am in a good mindset. I feel content with nature and my being. My center was off for a while, I could feel it, and I've finally got it back to where it belongs. I wouldn't say I'm happy, just content. Which most people would think is a bad thing. 'Be happy!' no. I like this feeling of everything in balance. All I desire at this moment in time is to lay on the grass and appreciate mother earth. I tend to do this in the wee hours of the morning. I enjoy it more in the silence of the night. I'd rather sleep through the chaos of the mid day. Last night at 3 am I went to the college, walked to the middle of a big field, and just stared. Nothing in particular. It felt my eyes were open, but I wasn't really seeing. I could almost feel my presence there from earlier when I was practicing my LARP with my team a few weeks back. I felt as though I had left a piece of me behind and I began thinking, do I do this with everywhere I go?

I lay on the grass
Mother Earth greets me kindly,
blue aura glowing.

Heard a screeching in the basement.
Odis killed a new born rabbit.
damn cats always after something.
I realized I left my sunroof open over night.
a bird relieved itself through it onto my back seat.
It's still there. I'll clean it later.
took the usual route today,
train.
I turned around and got turned around.
then found my way.
train.
just my luck. two trains.
turn around again.
still going to make it on time.
wreck.
are you kidding me?
I take the long way.
I stop at a light.
my car died.
I put it in neutral and started it again.
just at I put my head back on my body after it explodes with frustration.
I was late and no one believes my excuses.

I like the fact that no one follows me. I think this with be a diary too. which is kinda girly and stupid. but since no one will read this, consider this site my conscience.

The packaging
wood, insulations, brick

I stay here
rarely out of my box

I need air
but I'm still sealed up.

find me a new box?
my home is quite stuffy.

I can see through you. not your undies,
just all the way through. translucent but real
definitely real. I can't touch you.
but you touch me inside. that's not dirty.
I meant my soul. and not physically.
I don't think. emotionally. you're right there.
you watch me sleep. I don't mind
angels arent real. but you are.

I can't count on him to hold me up
he's out of reach now.
they want to get rid of him
he's been there all my life
they don't understand what he means
to me.
I begg them to let him be,
they say 'we don't make the rules'
then who does? who can help?
Don't cut down my tree.

the kids play power rangers.
I don't know what that is.
they ask what colour I want to be.
I never agreed to participate.
I say pink.emily says no.
She's popular so she wins.
they fake fight. I don't like fighting.
I don't like power rangers much either.

monster under your bed?
It's still there..
is it?
yes, always.
doesn't it scare you?
only when I'm alone.
does it ever hurt?
I don't mind the hurt.
why can't you get rid of it?
It's not that simple.
can't I scare it away?
it's doesn't exist.

Do you ever have that feeling when the sun is inside you?
not like, you're a burning star or anything.
more like you're a life giving object.
shut up, if you're gonna make a god refrence.
I feel like the sun today like but instead of giving life to oether,
its for myself. i'm not selfish, I am emitting happy.
My aura is blue but I am not. I am the sun today.

What a drag!
you're fading, I know where you're going
and it burns to know you're leaving
but I love the way it burn.
it keeps me warm when it's frigid.
I can see you getting smaller
not because you're further away.
oh no. you're between my finger tips.
I'll take every last breath of you.
I could keep a piece of you if I want
but that'd be silly.
what's it worth to me if you're gone?

sometimes I write cheesy poetry. because I like to make fun of it. and not all roses are red, ya know.

People never interested me,
well, I suppose they do but not in a friendly way.
I just wants to know why they're so empty.
I grew up really fast.
I had friends. I was pretty with nice clothes and teeth.
long haired, cheer captain all the boys were after.
but then they got to know me.
or tried to at least becuase I don't feel anyone knows me.
I didn't fit my shell, you could see that right away.
aliens and dirty muddy sports were my thing.
I always beat up the guys because I could.
Not in a mean way, we were equally matched.
Some guys liked that, which I didn't like.
I grew up faster than them and I was tougher.
I never wanted the attention,
and I never liked the playground games.
I had a pet squireel that I saved.
he got kicked out of a tree which reminded me of myself.
Life was a tree and I didn't fit the nest with everyone else.
I was grown before I lived.
What's a childhood?
I don't mind.

I love you like the sun loves the earth.

does it?

will it always?

won't the sun explode?

and die?

doesn't it burn?

I love you like the sun loves the earth.

For those who aren't educated in this type of poetry, have no fear, it's extremely easy to understand. All you do is type a word or phrase into a google, or other search browser, and write down various things from your search results. Is this really poetry? That's up to the reader. I did single words rather than phrases, and I didn't chose them myself, I asked friends on twitter to send me some and this is the nonsense I came up with.

Bookcase

Free S&H. EXPEDIT.

right at your fingertips.

& strong. Contact Now.

we stand behind.

The Land of Nod.

Swag

he or she. themselves.

Plural swags. coffee mugs.

scored a ton of swag from the venders.

Sign up! acronym.

Scientific Wild Ass Guess.

Now tow locations.

Giraffe

Learn all you want to know about.

an african even-toes ungulate mammal.

easy-to-read style. Animal Vytes.

hotel offers timeless style. only 7 vertibrae.

feel-good food. time is usually broken.

Dragon

makes it easier for anyone.

lens and snow. serpentine

or reptilian traits. 2D.

Extremely high. No.

reusable spacecraft.

TROGDOR the BURNINATOR.

Dear Friends. FREE.

8:59 in a room full of white.
One girl chews her nails.
While the other ingests a monster energy drink
which I'm sure chew away at her insides.
I never approved much of carbination.
and chewing nails is a nasty habit.
but i chew mine so consider me nasty i guess.
if someone from the 1800s came in this room of white
not only would the light bulbs surprise them,
but that monster would be a bubbling monster to them.

Your death house is coming on my side.
slowly off but you look up from your detenator.
you realize, you could've taken me with you.

I've got no idea who I am. The only thing I know is I want to leave where I am. Is there a chance I'd get to start over somewhere? I already have once. I switched to a whole different world by changing high schools. But that wasn't a good switch. I didn't think it over. I traded my carefree, 'ghetto' life style to go to an uppity school. BAD IDEA. Everyone there likes pink and heels and mustangs and indoor pools. I like dreads and tie dye and parachute pants and back woods green grass.